I feel exhausted

Friday, July 11th, 2008

It’s done. I sent the first job application of my life, and I had to ask 3 highly respected professionals to be reference persons and they all accepted with much support and excitement! What a bill…

Permission to produce a new law

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Since as long as I remember, I have always been ashamed about giving myself the right to anything. Others made me feel like I had no right, like I was disturbing them. I have always seen others fighting for rights while it felt like such a useless waste of time and energy to me… I want to solely give myself to the opening up to unexpected experiences of life instead of being the one who builds barriers, between me and a world of happiness. At all times, I want to spend more time enjoying life rather then withholding myself from it.

Even if I have been naturally driven to embrace life as a whole, I have had to refrain due to what others perceived as egocentrism. I have then always done things for myself without making it known or shared with others. Thus all I have given to them has been but a few words.

License to kill?… the barrier that will make me openly in love with myself!… with a bill, making everyone know I am worth a lot and acknowledging my worth. 

Well… once I decided I deserved to bill, that’s when I decided to stop…

I was so excited about having a license that I all at once told misses “License to give licenses” I would make a documentation of her work and bill her. I wanted to do this for pleasure in any case and I was contradicting that freedom by asking for money. Then I said of course it would be a bill that she did not have to pay and then realized I imposed my offer and bill without having been asked for it!

I just don’t know how to bill.

And it’s perfect because I don’t want to.

Coincidence is that I am applying for a job which doesn’t need me to bill. A job with a salary, a great salary and many other advantages. That is the real license I am giving to myself, my first job application, ever.

The applications are to be sent by the end of the week and I should get an interview within a few weeks…

This is my new license and the “license to bill” has opened up my eyes.